Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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