so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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