you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
