i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sobbing to NWA
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
