People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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