My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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