kristin has been a bad kristin
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
