Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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