Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
