quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
