I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
