Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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