so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
