but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If I had your ass I would rule the world
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
