HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Someone shit on the floor
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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