new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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