did you get engaged???
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
