Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
