He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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