Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
