Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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