And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
