I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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