Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Couch. On fire.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
