I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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