I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
