Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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