Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
