yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
