I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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