i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
handjob tips. give me some.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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