umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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