I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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