It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I will be naked everywhere
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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