another moral hangover. fuck.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
