You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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