Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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