My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
