It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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