i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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