Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
