I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
love makes seman taste better
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Randomize
