I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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