Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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