You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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