found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
