i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
