i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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