New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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