I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
