Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
