do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
