handjob tips. give me some.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
